The Top Ten Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Cars::

[whayface@yahooo.com]

The Top Ten Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Cars:


10. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that
year, instead of before.

9. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new
car.

8. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason and you'd have to
restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.

7. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bught a
car '95 or a car NT, but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a second, it's
that way NOW!

5. Sun Microsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as
reliable, five times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.

4. The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be replaced with
a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

3. People would get excited about the new features in Microsoft cars,
forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.

2. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas(tm).

1. Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler would all be complaining because
Microsoft was putting radios in all its models.
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[Peter]

Very good. You forgot a couple of features (I know you're busy)

11. The radio you say Microsoft would install would only play certain kinds
of music like Country and Western or Bluegrass stations and if you wanted to
listen to other stuff you would have to install another radio for Jazz and
another for Rock and Roll etc, despite their claiming' streaming FM on
Demand'...You would install one radio from RealAudio (Rock and Roll only)
and a Quicktime Radio for childrens songs.. Logitech would then market a
removable rack to hold all 3 of these radios in an 'array'..
Creative SoundBlaster would market a Control Panel to install underneath
this rack with dials, buttons and flashing LEDs and an Equalizer cupholder..
Roxio would market an onboard CD player-burner for the car under licensing
from Microsoft, of course, that is supposed to copy all the music from any
FM station program you wish. It wouldn't work at all for 2 months, citing
"No Local FM stations found"


12. If your alternator or batttery needed replacement, you would have to
call Microsoft Tech Service for a code before you changed these or your car
wouldn't start after the repair..

13. Only the original owner could drive the car; if someone else wanted to
use it you would have to call Microsoft for additional licensing permissions
at a cost of $50 for the license and $35 for the phone call to tech Support.


14.The Dealer would issue the license tag.. They would all be Q811493
despite the State you live in and the drivers side door would lock
intermittantly with out warning so you could not get in the car, or out,
(unless from the passsenger side) Microsoft would say it is a serious
security issue (NOT a glitch) so that your car isn't stolen from parking
lots....


> wrote in message
. com...
> The Top Ten Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Cars:
>
>
> 10. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that
> year, instead of before.
>
> 9. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
new
> car.
>
> 8. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason and you'd have to
> restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
>
> 7. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bught
a
> car '95 or a car NT, but then you would have to buy more seats.
>
> 6. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a second,
it's
> that way NOW!
>
> 5. Sun Microsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as
> reliable, five times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
>
> 4. The oil, alternator, gas and engine warning lights would be replaced
with
> a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
>
> 3. People would get excited about the new features in Microsoft cars,
> forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for
years.
>
> 2. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas(tm).
>
> 1. Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler would all be complaining because
> Microsoft was putting radios in all its models.
> --
> ************************************************** *******
> .
> . E-mail address altered to foil spam.
> . Remove extra to reply via e-mail.
> .
> ************************************************** *******
>