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Old December 23rd 17, 08:39 PM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
John Dulak[_2_]
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Posts: 34
Default Does Yahoo own Amazon (or vice versa)

On 12/23/2017 8:58 AM, wrote:
Because Google refuses to work properly on my old browsers, since they
went to the HTTPS crap, I have been trying other search engines. Bing
dont work at all, and Duck Duck Go does work, but takes forever to load.

Two that do work are Metacrawler, and Yahoo.

Yahoo loads the fastest and works the best. However I have to ask if
they own Amazon (or vice versa). No matter what I type into Yahoo to
search for, the FIRST few entries are always Amazon. Often to the point
of absolutely stupid. For example, if I type in "Santa riding a Dog".
the fiest entry says "buy santa riding a dog on Amazon"

That pretty much says who is paying the bills..... especially when it
dont even make sense....


James:

Your question reminds me of an (I hope) apocryphal tale about Google ;-)

John

Tried to ordered a pizza to watch the Game . Never again. Here's what happened.

Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google Pizza.

I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

No sir, Google bought Gordonís Pizza last month.

OK. I'd like to order a pizza.

Do you want your usual, sir?

My usual? You know me?

According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered an
extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms on a thick crust.

OK! Thatís what I want.

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried
tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

No you may not! I dont like vegetables.

Your cholesterol needs help, sir.

How the hell do you know?

We cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have
the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Listen, I don't want your vegetable pizza, and I take medication for my cholesterol!

Excuse me sir, but you don't take your medication regularly. Our database
indicates that you only filled a presciption for 30 cholesterol tablets once, at
Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.

I bought the rest at another drugstore.

Not according to your credit card statement.

I paid in cash.

Sir, you didn't withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

I have other sources of cash.

That doesnít show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.

WHAT THE HELL?!

I'm sorry, sir, we use such information with the sole intention of helping you.

Goodby, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and all this crap. I'm moving to
an island without internet, cable TV, cell phone service and jerks watching and
spying on me.

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks
ago.


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