Problem updating Windows Messenger program using AOL dial-up internet access

I am trying to use the Remote Assistance feature in WinXP
Home to fix problems on a friend's computer many miles
away. I have Broadband internet access and use Internet
Explorer. I have fully updated with Windows Update. My
friend has WinXP Home, AOL internet access, probably has
never used Windows Update. I had her set up an hotmail
account and wanted her to include me as a contact in
Windows Messenger so she could invite me for Remote
Assistance. When she tries to open Windows Messenger she
gets message that the program needs to be updated. The
problem she is having is that Windows Messenger won't
update because she has "other programs running". I have
sent her emails to end all programs in the Applications
tab of the Task Manager. This does not seem to resolve
the problem of her updating Windows Messenger. I was
wondering if there is a conflict because she uses AOL for
internet access. If so, is there a workaround so she can
get Windows Messenger up and running. I want to be able
to use the instant messaging service so we can chat in
real time while I work on her computer. Any suggestions
would be appreciated.
Thanks, Rick S.