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Product caution



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 30th 19, 05:46 PM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
AK[_4_]
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Posts: 9
Default Product caution

I bought a bicycle tail light.

One of the cautions was rather funny.

The product is only slightly waterproof, please do not take it for diving.

:-)

Andy
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  #2  
Old March 30th 19, 06:12 PM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
J. P. Gilliver (John)[_4_]
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Posts: 2,564
Default Product caution

In message , AK
writes:
I bought a bicycle tail light.

One of the cautions was rather funny.

The product is only slightly waterproof, please do not take it for diving.

:-)

Andy


If you put
underwater cycling
into YouTube, you may be surprised how many hits you get!
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)[email protected]+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

But this can only happen if we replace the urge to blame with the urge to
learn so that it is safe for staff to admit errors and raise concerns without
the fear of being punished.
- Former MI5 boss Eliza Manningham-Buller, RT 2016/5/7-13
  #3  
Old March 30th 19, 06:13 PM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
John Dulak[_2_]
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Posts: 42
Default Product caution

On 3/30/2019 1:46 PM, AK wrote:
I bought a bicycle tail light.

One of the cautions was rather funny.

The product is only slightly waterproof, please do not take it for diving.

:-)

Andy


Andy:

This kind of thing is not new.

( Taken from "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" Vol. 36 Jan/Feb 1991 pp. 21
- 26 via "IEEE Spectrum" Aug 1993.)

THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the unlikely event that this merchandise
should contact Antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion WILL result.

WARNING: This product attracts every other piece of matter in the universe,
including the products of other manufactures, with a force proportional to the
product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance
between them.

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CA This product contains minute electrically charged
particles moving at velocities in excess of 500,000,000 miles per hour.

ADVISORY: There is an extremely small, but non zero, chance that, through a
process known as "Tunneling" this product may spontaneously disappear from its
present location and reappear at any random place in the universe. The
manufacturer will not be responsible for damage or inconvenience that may result.

NOTE: The most fundamental particles in this product are held together by a
"gluing" force about which little is currently known and whose adhesive power
can not, therefore, be permanently guaranteed.

ATTENTION: Despite any other listing of product contents found hereon, the
consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product consists of 99.9999999999%
empty space.

COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The subatomic particles (Electrons, Protons,
Neutrons etc.) comprising this product are exactly the same in every measurable
respect as those used in the products of other manufactures, and no claim to the
contrary may legitimately be expressed or implied.

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO THE PURCHASER: The entire physical universe, including this
product, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should
another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of this product in that
universe cannot be guaranteed.


John


--
  #4  
Old March 31st 19, 05:22 AM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
JJ[_11_]
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Posts: 660
Default Product caution

On Sat, 30 Mar 2019 14:13:13 -0400, John Dulak wrote:

This kind of thing is not new.

( Taken from "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" Vol. 36 Jan/Feb 1991 pp. 21
- 26 via "IEEE Spectrum" Aug 1993.)

[snip]

LOL. They like to waste paper and ink, don't they?

BTW, I'm curious of what product which was said to have 99.9999999999% empty
space. An overly-inflated-near-popping-up balloon?
  #5  
Old March 31st 19, 06:39 AM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
Paul in Houston TX[_2_]
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Posts: 902
Default Product caution

JJ wrote:
On Sat, 30 Mar 2019 14:13:13 -0400, John Dulak wrote:

This kind of thing is not new.

( Taken from "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" Vol. 36 Jan/Feb 1991 pp. 21
- 26 via "IEEE Spectrum" Aug 1993.)

[snip]

LOL. They like to waste paper and ink, don't they?

BTW, I'm curious of what product which was said to have 99.9999999999% empty
space. An overly-inflated-near-popping-up balloon?


Anything made of matter.
But it's not really a good statement due to wave functions.

  #6  
Old March 31st 19, 07:04 AM posted to microsoft.public.windowsxp.general
Paul[_32_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,758
Default Product caution

JJ wrote:
On Sat, 30 Mar 2019 14:13:13 -0400, John Dulak wrote:
This kind of thing is not new.

( Taken from "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" Vol. 36 Jan/Feb 1991 pp. 21
- 26 via "IEEE Spectrum" Aug 1993.)

[snip]

LOL. They like to waste paper and ink, don't they?

BTW, I'm curious of what product which was said to have 99.9999999999% empty
space. An overly-inflated-near-popping-up balloon?


The answer, is printed on the side of a coffee mug :-)
As are most of the observations in modern life.

https://boldomatic.com/shop/product/mug/BwIvdg

"Atoms consists of 99.9999999999% space"

So this is an observation of a quantum mechanical nature.

*******

A neutron star is a measure of this emptiness being squeezed out.

"A neutron star is so dense that one teaspoon (5 milliliters)
of its material would have a mass over 5.510^12 kg, about
900 times the mass of the Great Pyramid of Giza."

There is a label on the side of each neutron star that says:

"contents may settle in transit"

Just in case you receive a neutron star which isn't "full".

Paul
 




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